What I was feeling when I went to Gatsby's for a party ...

At Gatsby's party I tried to have fun and be impressed but it was very hard to appear that way. His guests and parties had an atmosphere that is subdued compared to the usual frivolity at Gatsby's parties. Half of the reason I did not have as much fun was because Tom was there as well. Tom of course tried to put everyone down and complained about everything at Gatsby's party. In my opinion I think Tom was secretly impressed with the group of people Gatsby and at his party, but he made it clear to say that he did not know anyone there. My efforts didn't show that I was impressed with the party. I try to not live in the present and to deal with day to day life events. I didn't like to face reality because that means I will need to get responsible, and i'm the most irresponsible person. I pretended to have fun and pretended to enjoy festive atmosphere. This also didn't just affect me, it affected Gatsby, he knew that I was not having a good time. This affected Gatsby, and I didn't know what to do but fake like I was having fun and trying to not live in reality.